Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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