I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
