return my video game
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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