then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
