i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
