I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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