You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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