By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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