i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
