operation harelip BJ is a go
time to smoke my breakfast
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
