What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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