literally had 100 drinks last night.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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