you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
