If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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