he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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