i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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