I just pynch a tree in the face
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
