i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
