U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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