Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Holy sore nipples Batman
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
