I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
