Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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