At least make sure they are 18
Why
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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