To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
