She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
