please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
