listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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