So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
