I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
