Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
If I die, sorry about rent.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
