this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
wow bdsm is so cute
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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