so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
he laminated a picture of his dick.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Randomize
