return my video game
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
