She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
