i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
