Whod you bang
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
