I wanna passion pit in your ass
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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