The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
what the fuck happened to the tacos
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
