she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
