do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
