I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
