his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
