just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
