dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
