I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I think a kid would responsible me up
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
