She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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