Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
