haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
