I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
