Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
