if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
